The indictment of former President Donald J. Trump this week has set the entire New York deli industry on edge. A spokesman for the New York Delicatessen Restaurant and Vendors Association (NYDRVA) explained, “We really didn’t think the Trump indictment would come down this week, so it caught us a little off guard. It seems that the old adage is actually TRUE: they really CAN indict…well, you know.”
“This precedent,” he continued, “has the potential to cripple an entire sector of the restaurant and food service industry: delis, sub shops, many vendors who sell grinders, hoagies, and such. Our phone has been ringing off the hook. Worried deli owners want to know whether or not they should be changing their menus. We do know that at least some have already stopped selling basic ham sandwiches, ham & cheese sliders, Monte Cristos, even Cubans!
“There is a legitimate fear, now that the floodgates are opened, that a deluge of indictments might follow. Its a huge question as to whether ham wraps could be in legal jeopardy. Should they skip the ham on clubs? Our legal team is busy considering these, and many other questions.”
When asked about the possible legal hazards for various salted and cured ham products, the spokesman replied, “Yeah, well I’m sure they’re schvitzing their as…their cabooses off over that one too.”
