At today’s Whitehouse press briefing, spokesperson Karine Jean-Pierre confirmed that a whitetail buck recently charged the President near his Delaware home, catching his Secret Service detail off guard, and missing Biden by mere inches. “According to the agents, the deer ran away as quickly as he had approached,” Jean-Pierre said. “They didn’t have time to shoot him. The deer, that is.”
Later in the same news conference, spokesman John Kirby briefed the press on the just-released report on the Afghanistan withdrawal debacle. “Don’t blame President Biden. Blame Donald Trump. But what I really mean is, it was a perfect operation. Nothing went wrong.
“And also, whatever went wrong, it was Trump’s fault!”
He went on to blame Trump for the border crisis, inflation, crime, Covid-19, fentanyl, and irritable bowel syndrome. Also racism, of course.
“And as you all know,” Jean-Pierre was quick to add, “the President is very serious about making sure that everyone knows that he is very serious about our national security, and not being racist like Donald Trump, and also he was tear gassed at Selma and beaten up at Johannesburg. Oh, and he mans up and takes responsibility. Like he did with Cornpop, as you all know…”
